Christmas is such a time of mixed feelings for me. At once I’m happy about spending lots of time with family, and giving gifts because I love to give gifts. But it can also be a downer because it reinforces how lonely I can feel and reminds me of the trail of failed relationships in my past. This year was no different than usual, really. So, I spent quite a bit of time alternating between feeling warm and happy and feeling nostalgic and depressed.

On the whole, it wasn’t a bad time though. I got some nice presents, including a brand new suitcase for my travels, and a Frommer’s guide to Thailand. Thank you Danie for the Zen garden and Yoda. :hug: I bought myself a nice present too. I just happened to be near a jewelery store that was going out of business, and they were selling off their watches. I bought this Seiko for 60% off. Those who know me know I have a fetish for cool watches, so this was a great chance for me to get a cheap upgrade.

I spent plenty of time with Dad and my little sister Jadine, who is back from Vancouver for a week. It’s amazing how much more you appreciate someone’s time when you haven’t seen them for a while. It was cool to hang out with Jadine. I’m glad we’re both adults now and can interact on equal footing.

I also spent lots of time with Tan. He’s going to be in Thailand at the same time as me, and we should have a few weeks to hang out together. We’ll have cell phones while we’re there so I can travel separately, but still meet up with him throughout the month. It was sobering to think about the devastation to the region caused by tsunamis today. It’s also a bit scary to realize that if I was in Thailand right now, as was my original plan when I was thinking of my Thailand trip, there’s a good chance I’d be injured or even dead. But I’m determined to take it in stride. The trip is going to be so fun. I’m planning on getting my scuba certification while diving in coral reefs off the cost of some remote islands in the Andaman Sea. I’m also going to hike in the mountains in the northern regions and meet those people with the long, stretched necks. I also want to visit the countryside of the east. I’m going to ride motorcycles. I’ll probably also take some small trips out to Saigon in Vietnam, and possibly Hong Kong too. I’m going to photograph Buddhist temples at sunrise, and Bangkok at night.

I

am

so

stoked.

:bounce:

Today was like a sandwich. Or it should have been anyway. The bread was made up of my passions, and the middle by my work. The first piece of bread was my morning photo shoot. It was a family of five people, spanning five generations. I think I mentioned it in a previous post. Anyway, the photos I ended up enjoying the most from the shoot were of the extreme ends of the family: great great grandmother and newborn baby. Shooting big groups of people isn’t my thing. My style leans towards the intimate examination of unique subject matter, and groups of people seem too diluted. My attention-deficit crippled brain has a hard time dealing with the complexity. It’s something I need to get over though, and I’ll work at it whenever I get the chance. Already I feel more comfortable shooting two people at a time. There was a time when I found that quite difficult. Five was a big jump for me though.

The evening piece of bread was the Wednesday night drop-in improv class that I taught. I covered a couple of topics, including environment and endowing scene partners. The wide variance in skill levels in the drop-in class makes this a difficult seminar to teach. I knew I wasn’t going to change the world of improv in this class. People had fun, and that’s what counts I think. I also had a really nice experience in that a lady came up to me in the cafe before the class to tell me that she really enjoyed my performance in last Thursday’s Improv Survivor show. None of us gets into improv to get rich, so feeling appreciated can often make it all seem worthwhile.

The middle of the sandwich was supposed to be work. Not a lot of that happened today. I think I’m in holiday mode right now, which is a shame because there’s a lot of stuff to do. In my logical brain, I decided that I’d do a lot of work during the holidays, since I’ll be away for all of February. I need to buffer myself with money and goodwill from customers if I’m going to enjoy my time away in any kind of stress-free fashion. Logical brain has very little say in things if emotional brain feels like taking some time off. I guess I’ll pull it together when the time comes. :nod:

Everything today pretty much went as it was supposed to go, which is a relief, since there was so much stuff to do. I could see everything falling into place. But I definitely had to keep on my toes. In addition to all the stuff I expected to be doing, I got hit with a couple of pretty good surprises. First of all, I was made a Gallery Director for Photography in dA today. That will be fun. It should transform some of my pointless surfing into more useful surfing. Also, I got a call from a lady who wants a family portrait of five generations. I was concerned I wouldn’t have room for this in my studio, but since it’s only five people, including a baby, it should be no sweat. Thanks for the lead on this one Manyk! I also got a call from another pregnant woman who wants photos. I booked these things for the next couple of weeks. It’ll be great to have a break at Christmas!

It was a nice weekend. I had improv class on Saturday, which was therapeutic. We each got very good critique on our scenes, and tried to not only break bad habits but come up with new and better ones. I saw Closer on Saturday night, which is extremely thought-provoking and powerful.

This upcoming week will be seriously challenging I think. I’m almost completely booked already, and I haven’t even checked my business line phone messages yet. Tomorrow I’m doing bill payments and preparing systems for a network installation on Tuesday, then at night I have rehearsal for Thursday night’s Improv Survivor show. On Tuesday I have the network installation I talked about earlier. Then I have the Santa Smackdown show at night. On Wednesday I have a couple of business tax payments to make and a photoshoot in late afternoon/early evening in Smithville. It’s a Christmas portrait session with two kids. On Thursday I’m working on Laura’s website during the day and have the Improv Survivor show at night. On Friday I have a client Christmas party in afternoon and early evening. I think Christmas shopping might not get done until the 23rd again this year.

Strange day today. Good and bad things happened. I skipped the gym because of back pain this morning. That’s never happened before. Usually I would go and try to work through the pain, which would just prolong it. Maybe I’m getting smarter? I dunno. Anyway, I went to my morning apppointment to discover that the woman I was supposed to meet there had forgotten about it. Fortunately there were people with keys that let me in to do my job so it wasn’t a total waste.

In the afternoon, Laura dropped by and we had some green tea. I was wired on the tea after she left, and it left me feeling very scattered and more than a bit hyper. There was a lot of business paperwork and stuff to be done. I hope I didn’t forget to do anything… After the caffeine high came the inevitable crash. I felt like toast. All I wanted to do was lie on the couch and sleep it off. I wonder if caffeine is going to affect me like this for the rest of my life?

Anyway, I didn’t have time to lie around. I got to the Staircase Theatre for the advanced improv workshop. This week’s workshop was great. We basically hammered out about two hours of open scenes, with a concentration on relationship. This is comfortable ground for me. I felt very powerful tonight. The only way I can explain it is that I felt like I could do no wrong. Technically in improv, this is always true, but in reality, it doesn’t work like that. So, it was a good feeling. I challenged myself to let most of my characters spew Tarantino-esque dialogue and formed strong bonds with my scene partners. I think the scenes that I did tonight are among my best ever.

After the workshop was a timing rehearsal for next week’s Santa Survivor show. The rehearsal was boring but necessary. The Survivor format is not a favorite among improvisors because it runs contrary to improv thought: we’re supposed to work as a team, supporting each other instead of scheming to vote each other off stage. I feel slightly uncomfortable with the show, but it will be good to be performing again.

We went to a restaurant afterwards and I found myself sitting with friends who were asking each other who was the “best photographer for headshots.” My name didn’t come up. Turns out it’s David Leyes in Toronto. Now I could feel insulted by this. I could even feel hurt. Ok, yeah, I was hurt. These people know me and my what I’m trying to do with my life, but also know that David Leyes has the approval of casting directors in Toronto. Therefore, they’re willing to pay $500 for a David Leyes photo shoot just to get that extra edge. I wasn’t even considered. If I can’t even earn the trust of my friends, then I’m clearly not close to where I need to be. All this means to me is that I have a lot of work to do. It’s not about making great photos. It’s about knowing the right people and making the right connections, just like in any other field. As they say, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.